Act 3

Scene II

Another part of the island.

	Enter Caliban, Stephano, and Trinculo.
Stephano	Tell not me; when the butt is out, we will drink water; not a drop before: therefore bear up, and board ’em. Servant-monster, drink to me.
Trinculo	Servant-monster! the folly of this island! They say there’s but five upon this isle: we are three of them; if th’ other two be brained like us, the state totters.
Stephano	Drink, servant-monster, when I bid thee: thy eyes are almost set in thy head.
Trinculo	Where should they be set else? he were a brave monster indeed, if they were set in his tail.
Stephano	My man-monster hath drown’d his tongue in sack: for my part, the sea cannot drown me; I swam, ere I could recover the shore, five and thirty leagues off and on. By this light, thou shalt be my lieutenant, monster, or my standard.
Trinculo	Your lieutenant, if you list; he’s no standard.
Stephano	We’ll not run, Monsieur Monster.
Trinculo	Nor go neither; but you’ll lie like dogs and yet say nothing neither.
Stephano	Moon-calf, speak once in thy life, if thou beest a good moon-calf.
Caliban	How does thy honour? Let me lick thy shoe. I’ll not serve him; he’s not valiant.
Trinculo	Thou liest, most ignorant monster: I am in case to justle a constable. Why, thou deboshed fish thou, was there ever man a coward that hath drunk so much sack as I to-day? Wilt thou tell a monstrous lie, being but half a fish and half a monster?
Caliban	Lo, how he mocks me! wilt thou let him, my lord?
Trinculo	“Lord” quoth he! That a monster should be such a natural!
Caliban	Lo, lo, again! bite him to death, I prithee.
Stephano	Trinculo, keep a good tongue in your head: if you prove a mutineer⁠—the next tree! The poor monster’s my subject and he shall not suffer indignity.
Caliban	I thank my noble lord. Wilt thou be pleased to hearken once again to the suit I made to thee?
Stephano	Marry, will I: kneel and repeat it; I will stand, and so shall Trinculo.
	Enter Ariel, invisible.
Caliban	As I told thee before, I am subject to a tyrant, a sorcerer, that by his cunning hath cheated me of the island.
Ariel	Thou liest.
Caliban	Thou liest, thou jesting monkey, thou: I would my valiant master would destroy thee! I do not lie.
Stephano	Trinculo, if you trouble him any more in’s tale, by this hand, I will supplant some of your teeth.
Trinculo	Why, I said nothing.
Stephano	Mum, then, and no more. Proceed.
Caliban	I say, by sorcery he got this isle; From me he got it. If thy greatness will Revenge it on him⁠—for I know thou darest, But this thing dare not⁠—
Stephano	That’s most certain.
Caliban	Thou shalt be lord of it and I’ll serve thee.
Stephano	How now shall this be compassed? Canst thou bring me to the party?
Caliban	Yea, yea, my lord: I’ll yield him thee asleep, Where thou mayst knock a nail into his head.
Ariel	Thou liest; thou canst not.
Caliban	What a pied ninny’s this! Thou scurvy patch! I do beseech thy greatness, give him blows And take his bottle from him: when that’s gone He shall drink nought but brine; for I’ll not show him Where the quick freshes are.
Stephano	Trinculo, run into no further danger: interrupt the monster one word further, and, by this hand, I’ll turn my mercy out o’ doors and make a stock-fish of thee.
Trinculo	Why, what did I? I did nothing. I’ll go farther off.
Stephano	Didst thou not say he lied?
Ariel	Thou liest.
Stephano	Do I so? take thou that. Beats Trinculo. As you like this, give me the lie another time.
Trinculo	I did not give the lie. Out o’ your wits and hearing too? A pox o’ your bottle! this can sack and drinking do. A murrain on your monster, and the devil take your fingers!
Caliban	Ha, ha, ha!
Stephano	Now, forward with your tale. Prithee, stand farther off.
Caliban	Beat him enough: after a little time I’ll beat him too.
Stephano	Stand farther. Come, proceed.
Caliban	Why, as I told thee, ’tis a custom with him, I’ th’ afternoon to sleep: there thou mayst brain him, Having first seized his books, or with a log Batter his skull, or paunch him with a stake, Or cut his wezand with thy knife. Remember First to possess his books; for without them He’s but a sot, as I am, nor hath not One spirit to command: they all do hate him As rootedly as I. Burn but his books. He has brave utensils⁠—for so he calls them⁠— Which when he has a house, he’ll deck withal. And that most deeply to consider is The beauty of his daughter; he himself Calls her a nonpareil: I never saw a woman, But only Sycorax my dam and she; But she as far surpasseth Sycorax As great’st does least.
Stephano	Is it so brave a lass?
Caliban	Ay, lord; she will become thy bed, I warrant. And bring thee forth brave brood.
Stephano	Monster, I will kill this man: his daughter and I will be king and queen⁠—save our graces!⁠—and Trinculo and thyself shall be viceroys. Dost thou like the plot, Trinculo?
Trinculo	Excellent.
Stephano	Give me thy hand: I am sorry I beat thee; but, while thou livest, keep a good tongue in thy head.
Caliban	Within this half hour will he be asleep: Wilt thou destroy him then?
Stephano	Ay, on mine honour.
Ariel	This will I tell my master.
Caliban	Thou makest me merry; I am full of pleasure: Let us be jocund: will you troll the catch You taught me but while-ere?
Stephano	At thy request, monster, I will do reason, any reason. Come on, Trinculo, let us sing. Sings.
	Flout ’em and scout ’em And scout ’em and flout ’em; Thought is free.
Caliban	That’s not the tune. Ariel plays the tune on a tabor and pipe.
Stephano	What is this same?
Trinculo	This is the tune of our catch, played by the picture of Nobody.
Stephano	If thou beest a man, show thyself in thy likeness: if thou beest a devil, take’t as thou list.
Trinculo	O, forgive me my sins!
Stephano	He that dies pays all debts: I defy thee. Mercy upon us!
Caliban	Art thou afeard?
Stephano	No, monster, not I.
Caliban	Be not afeard; the isle is full of noises, Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not. Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices That, if I then had waked after long sleep, Will make me sleep again: and then, in dreaming, The clouds methought would open and show riches Ready to drop upon me, that, when I waked, I cried to dream again.
Stephano	This will prove a brave kingdom to me, where I shall have my music for nothing.
Caliban	When Prospero is destroyed.
Stephano	That shall be by and by: I remember the story.
Trinculo	The sound is going away; let’s follow it, and after do our work.
Stephano	Lead, monster; we’ll follow. I would I could see this tabourer; he lays it on.
Trinculo	Wilt come? I’ll follow, Stephano. Exeunt.