Act 5

Scene I

The forest.

	Enter Touchstone* and Audrey.*
Touchstone	We shall find a time, Audrey; patience, gentle Audrey.
Audrey	Faith, the priest was good enough, for all the old gentleman’s saying.
Touchstone	A most wicked Sir Oliver, Audrey, a most vile Martext. But, Audrey, there is a youth here in the forest lays claim to you.
Audrey	Ay, I know who ’tis; he hath no interest in me in the world: here comes the man you mean.
Touchstone	It is meat and drink to me to see a clown: by my troth, we that have good wits have much to answer for; we shall be flouting; we cannot hold.
	Enter William.
William	Good even, Audrey.
Audrey	God ye good even, William.
William	And good even to you, sir.
Touchstone	Good even, gentle friend. Cover thy head, cover thy head; nay, prithee, be covered. How old are you, friend?
William	Five and twenty, sir.
Touchstone	A ripe age. Is thy name William?
William	William, sir.
Touchstone	A fair name. Wast born i’ the forest here?
William	Ay, sir, I thank God.
Touchstone	“Thank God;” a good answer. Art rich?
William	Faith, sir, so so.
Touchstone	“So so” is good, very good, very excellent good; and yet it is not; it is but so so. Art thou wise?
William	Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit.
Touchstone	Why, thou sayest well. I do now remember a saying, “The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.” The heathen philosopher, when he had a desire to eat a grape, would open his lips when he put it into his mouth; meaning thereby that grapes were made to eat and lips to open. You do love this maid?
William	I do, sir.
Touchstone	Give me your hand. Art thou learned?
William	No, sir.
Touchstone	Then learn this of me: to have, is to have; for it is a figure in rhetoric that drink, being poured out of a cup into a glass, by filling the one doth empty the other; for all your writers do consent that ipse is he: now, you are not ipse, for I am he.
William	Which he, sir?
Touchstone	He, sir, that must marry this woman. Therefore, you clown, abandon⁠—which is in the vulgar leave⁠—the society⁠—which in the boorish is company⁠—of this female⁠—which in the common is woman; which together is, abandon the society of this female, or, clown, thou perishest; or, to thy better understanding, diest; or, to wit I kill thee, make thee away, translate thy life into death, thy liberty into bondage: I will deal in poison with thee, or in bastinado, or in steel; I will bandy with thee in faction; I will o’errun thee with policy; I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways: therefore tremble and depart.
Audrey	Do, good William.
William	God rest you merry, sir. Exit.
	Enter Corin.
Corin	Our master and mistress seeks you; come, away, away!
Touchstone	Trip, Audrey! trip, Audrey! I attend, I attend. Exeunt.